How The Game improved the relationship with my colleagues

“Any action or experience contain a lesson” is one of the mottos that rules my life. I truly believe it. It’s probably due to spending too much time thinking about anything, but I can extract a lesson from any of my experiences, as well as most of the games I’ve played, books I’ve read or movies I’ve enjoyed. That doesn’t mean that every lesson has the same value, as it varies dramatically depending on my context at that moment. But that’s why I try to always meet new people (from their stories is really easy to learn something), consume a variety of media and read from a diverse book pool. One of the examples is described here.

And that’s why I ended reading The Game. The book talks about a pickup artist society and how much the life of the writer changed after learning how to seduce a woman (that’s a really vague summary). I love learning about human behaviour, particularly when it focuses on the subliminal realm, so this book gave me loads of insight about how people react to certain patterns, as well as formalising in words some thoughts I already had (which helps a lot, knowing something and being able to express it are different levels of understanding a subject).

But we’re here to discuss what The Game taught me that was applicable in my life, not talking about the cheesy pickup techniques that are probably outdated and culturally dependent. I really think it helped me stepping up my workplace relationships. And no, I’m not saying I started flirting with me colleagues.

Your working environment is ruled by human relationships, that’s a fact. Even if you’re working on a high technical field where people try to encapsulate themselves to get into “the zone”; teams are the one achieving amazing projects, not bright individuals. So, if the way you talk with your colleagues, you set expectations with your manager, you manage some problems and you react to some interruptions are going to drastically change the moral and energy of your team; every single lesson that teaches me how to understand and optimise this interaction makes me a better professional.

With optimising iterations I’m not meaning trying to pursue and lie someone so things are going the path you want because that collides with my “do not be evil” motto. Optimising for me is being able to identify those “naughty tricks” some professionals use to reach their goals, learning when to express admiration, size when to take the leadership and how can show them your value. The Game gives you examples of situations where saying something completely changed the outcome, either ruining the game or delivering success. And, being honest, if you know how to overcome yourself and keep trying in the game, you’ll be way more prepared for any awkward situation. It also focuses on realising your environment and find the best technique for each context.

Being more specific, I’m going to share some quotes that have been helpful in my life. not all of them are from Neil Strauss but, for me, they related to what I learnt from the book.

What you look like doesn’t matter. But how you present yourself does.

You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take

The cat string theory is the most accurate theory of all time: As humans, we don’t appreciate things that just fall into our laps. We find more value when we have to bust through personal boundaries, overcome obstacles, and do things we originally thought we could not.

Be a closer: Most people are not closers and never finish what they start. I’m definitely guilty of this on occasion, I get overly excited, commit to everything, and often never finish projects I start.

Some of you may even sabotage your own progress because you’re afraid you won’t find what you seek. I don’t know about you but I’d rather find adventure in the quest than finding comfort in sitting idle.

Everything you do matters: In the end it all counts, it’s cumulative, LIVE!

May the force be with you,

Gino

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