5 Shares a Week – Fruitful Friday Week 6 ’19

1 – Things I have munchedThis pretty tasty meal prep. She also shared a piece of information I had no idea about: Soaking your legumes before cooking not only makes them cook faster but improves how well we absorb their proteins!

2 – An enjoyable surprise: I contacted two renown improvisers after writing about teaching improv to international crowds, and both of them came back to me with interested! I was lucky enough to schedule an hour-long chat with one of them yesterday, and I have learned SO MUCH from that talk! I’ll be working on the notes from that chat to get a nice summary.

3 – A moment of joy: I have a lovely coffee break with a friend this week. Sometimes, I have to force myself to be social and spend some quality time with people I don’t see often. It is stupid because I am aware of how much I enjoy talking to them! But, at the moment, I try to find a thousand excuses for why I should cancel.

4 – Something I really appreciate: Taking into consideration what day was yesterday, I want to take a moment to state how grateful I am for my partner. I am not an easy person to live with, and she has been such an unconditional supporter. It is going to be a challenging period (and I know she was also affected by my previous post about depression), but I feel very lucky to have such a loving person on my side.

5 – Training that I am enjoying: Recently I have changed my workout routine just to shake things up a little bit, and I am really digging the new training! It fits my time schedule, it feels challenging and it involves very simple exercises. What a nice surprise!

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Embracing being lost

This post is more personal than usual, and I hope you can relate to some parts. I decided to share my struggle finding direction and goals. Let’s start with an introduction.

Hola. I am Gino. I am 27, originally from Spain but currently living in Copenhagen. I work on a not-so-demanding job that supports me and my partner in an extremely expensive city (my rent is higher than the base salary of my siblings). I have a nurturing group of friends and a supportive and attentive partner.

I workout five times a week, eat healthy enough and find joy in my hobbies. I am part of an amateur sports team, and I am performing improv on stage most weeks. I have even read more than two books a month for the last three years.

And I feel completely and utterly lost in my life.

My career

I studied computer science and easily found my career path. A place where I could use both my passion for understanding problems and my skills in building software: Testing Automation was such an easy match.

Working in automation was a clear winner. I was able to move abroad, have a nice salary and fill a needed role; and it wasn’t extremely demanding! I really value my spare time.

What I love about my job has been evolving during the last years. I love pairing with people and bringing pragmatic points of view early on the discussion. I enjoy understanding entire systems and providing a bigger picture while working on a problem. I also like leading, both managing and empowering my colleagues.

But there are many things that are not for me in my current position. Coding is less appealing to me by the day. I miss more human interaction. I would like more manual labour or work within a team more often. And I wish I could give workshops and teach more often.

But I am aware that my career is bringing me down. Each day I feel less motivated to step out of my home. I even find so many excuses to not spend time actually doing my job. I feel lost and stuck in this situation.

My relationships

I am lucky to have such a supportive partner on my side and many inspiring friends.

Something that defines my relationship is my fear of needing someone. I don’t feel comfortable when a connection is defined by necessity. I value when we spend time together because we want to, instead of needing it. I choose people because they make my life better.

Being a caregiver is also part of how I see myself. I love being useful while helping the people I care about, or by trying to make the world a better place. I can see the impact on helping some people around me. Those whom I know they are struggling. Those who just need a little push to take the reigns and change this world.

I stress too much about my relationships because I take unnecessary responsibilities, creating extra burdens.

My place in the world

I am not going to be the leader who will bring the revolution, and I am happy with it. Not everyone will change this world. And, for every leader, there is a need for a second in command. I usually fill a supportive role. I am comfortable giving my time and resources. I like enabling the people I feel will change the world.

I talk about things more than I do things. In any hobby, I am more concerned with finding the most efficient way to perform something; than performing it. I am usually a better coach or trainer than a player.

All the previous identity statements create a big internal conflict. Nowadays, many people think we are all achievers and I should aim for that, but I am actually comfortable in a supporting position. Understanding that the traits I like about myself can’t build on a career also affects me. WIll I only be successful if I partner with a doer?

Things that I’m proud of

Being a natural giver, I love the impact I have had on the people I care about. Seeing how the spark of inspiration, or just that little push, has helped them grow into such beautiful beings.

Due to my love for theory-crafting, I love endless discussions. And that makes me an amazing muse. I don’t know how to finish any project but I am amazing inspiring others and keeping them on track. I am also an excellent idea generator.

Pragmatism is something I easily bring to the table. I am quite good at offering realistic points of view. That has allowed me to plan ahead for many challenges which actually arose. I believe that if you fantasize about a situation, you will be better prepared for it.

Things that I certainly should change

Not wanting to need anyone is hindering my enjoyment of life. It blocks my ability for commitment. I can’t really lose myself in the moment. I can’t truly fight for something if I don’t believe I actually require it.

I generally take a supportive role because I see it as the only way to make an impact. It probably comes from the notion of not really accomplishing anything by myself. I take the “parental” role, supporting and nurturing others, making them grow.

Pragmatism can also lead to being too negative. Realising every way something might go wrong easily produces paralysis. What is the point of starting the problem with such a challenge? I should really be more mindful on the way I share this insight and find ways to express it in an encouraging way. “Let’s be prepared for these challenges” instead of “just be aware of these problems”.

I need stability in many aspects of my life, which heavily limits the kind of risks I am willing to take with my career and life. Unf*ck Yourself touches on the subject. If I want to grow and change my situation, my stability will be challenged; and I get really anxious by the thought of it.

What am I doing to get there?

In my career, I am looking for opportunities that are more social and less technical. Taking more responsibilities regarding people management.

Am I also looking for other incomes and toying with the idea of a less stable and more fulfilling path. There are so many skills I can learn about taking a different path.

In my life, I should stop waiting for motivation. The perfect situation is not going to come, and I will always be able to find a thousand reasons why things will crumble. But I am going to just chase opportunities. I will keep moving and inventing, and if something arises, it will be handled!

I can’t get enough of so many new activities! I never thought of them before. Activities like engaging with an audience. Or bringing playfulness to a team, with games and fun competition. Or keeping a group motivated and happy, fostering a better team spirit. I wish my career involved more of these skills.

I am also going to take more risks. I will assign a quota of resources I am willing to gamble with trying new things. Let’s spend a little bit of time building a blog, even if it will never take off. Let’s invest some money in building the prototype of an app, even if no one will use it. I have to rethink commitment as giving my all for as long as it is relevant, not the need of sticking with something till the end of time

Conclusion

I feel lost. Society makes me feel that I shouldn’t feel lost, but there is no denying how I feel. I didn’t have any big trauma during my childhood. I had an amazing parental example. I have never had any big problem. But I still can’t find myself, regardless of all the privileges I am enjoying.

I am ashamed of being lost, but that is nonsense. It is just part of my life. And, if you’re lost, hopefully knowing that you are not alone helping.

5 Shares a Week – Fruitful Friday

I may not take 5 a day… but I can do 5 a week!

There is a long and very personal post on the works, so this week I only have the time to publish this. Let’s share 5 interesting healthy snacks for our brains!

1 – Reading right now: Made to Stick – Chip Heath.
I am really digging some notes on how to make an idea more sticky. Chip is a brilliant storyteller and always provides a sticky anecdote to make the point. I have so many notes from this book, I will probably share them at some point!

2 – An interesting (and fast) read: Hot point fitness – Steve Zim.
I read this old (but gold) summary for a good training from Steve Zim. These are the 5 key points I keep from it while working out:

  • Breathing. “To enlist breathing as your ally, exhale as you drive the weight; hold the weight at the top of the movement; and inhale during the negative motion on a count of ‘one-two-three’.
  • Variety. “Perhaps the greatest mistake you can make, and one almost everyone who exercises makes, is to get into a routine when you exercise“. Changing the routines regularly helps to make training more entertaining. I will avoid controversial topics not talking about Muscle Confusion,
  • Balance. Symmetry prevents injury. We want to avoid compensating with our strong side while lifting, as that will affect our progression and it can easily cause problems.
  • Stretching. He recommends stretching the muscle we are working on between sets. That increases the time under tension (adding some stress on our hearts) and helps recovery by bringing more blood to the area.
  • Technique. Understand the technique of the exercise. Identify your goals and use the correct technique to reach them.

3 – A project I can’t stop thinking about: I want to create a journal app to record each improv performance.

I think the community would benefit from having a tool where you can save and share some notes from shows, create profiles and enhance the classes.

I have done no app development, so I spent some time understanding what would be needed and how can I start. Maybe it is a nice project to find someone on Fiverr and get it bootstrapped!

4 – What I have written somewhere else: The effects of improvising outside of your mother tongue.

I am passionate about understanding how English is affecting my performances. This is an ongoing discussion inside my community, so I decided to make a “short” writeup and share it on Reddit and Facebook. I loved the engagement it caused!

One of the comments pointed me to How Speaking a Second Language Affects the Way You Think. It is fascinating that our moral compasses might be affected by the language we are talking at the moment!

5 – A nice tool I have found: Many libraries with free stock images! These are not the ones that I normally use, so I like having some variety!

Having a blog, this is an invaluable asset! I also needed many strange pictures to make…

Extra points: Presentation karaoke

I love this improv game, and I decided to play at the office. All the PMs were in love with the idea of finding the “Ultimate presenter” in our company!

The preparation is fairly simple, but it involved having MANY silly pictures to create those presentations. This is the list I came up with, do you have any more examples on silly pictures? I really encourage you to give this game a go. It is so easy and fun!

What about you? Which are your 5 points of this week?

Fruitful Friday – Week 5 ’19

I may not take 5 a day… but I can do 5 a week!

I have decided to make a weekly summary of what I’ve learnt from what I am reading. There are many books that I have devoured too fast! Forcing myself to come with a one-or-two liner lesson sounds like a good practice. Also, inspired by Marcus’ 5 share, I have decided to also include other items that made me grow that week. Things like something that made me laugh, or something I need to share. What a simple way to better start my Fridays!  Now I can feel my baby-step growth, and share a bunch of silly things!

Read of the week: Improv Nation: How We Made a Great American Art – Sam Wasson.

I love learning the origins of Improv Comedy. I enjoy understanding the history of my hobbies, and I’m getting more involved with improv by the day. But let’s try to keep the improv content to a minimum! Let’s talk about something else that the book made me think of: how many North Americans think the world is about them.

It can be summarised on the quote: “and all of it as American as Democracy”. Sure. As democracy. A big part of the book talks about how Improv Comedy started in the States. It explains why it is a completely different art compared with its roots, like Commedia dell’arte. But when I heard him making that statement, I couldn’t help but chuckle. Of course, as American as Democracy.

This situation had happened before while talking with some North American friends. I don’t think it’s something unique to them, tho. Living in Denmark, I have heard comments on the lines of: “well, we don’t have that problem in Scandinavia, we would never act like that”. So I am pretty sure everyone has their own quirks!

Personally, I find it quite amusing. It makes me think of my dad! At home, we are all Spaniards but him (Italian). So, many times, he tries to convince us that Romans were the firsts doing (insert blank). Sure, there are many things that modern society should thank Romans for, but this argument usually escalates to the absurd very fast.

Quote that moved me: “A worried champ is more interesting than an overconfident champ”. It comes from Del Close class’ notes, unable to avoid the Improv theme. I see it as embracing ourselves, without using the “I have everything under control” mask. I fake confidence many times because I think that will help me. But, actually, seeing someone being honest (and worried) is always more interesting, intimate and powerful.

Toy I have started playing with: hosting a static page blog on GitHub. This blog is hosted on WordPress, but after restarting my writing habits I wondered if it is the best option. I also wanted another place to put my improv ideas, and maybe a new space to build some kind of resume.

Having a static page on GitHub sounded like an interesting idea! It requires minimum maintenance, it’s more affordable and some of the parts are open source. And I personally like the geekier feeling of using those tools.

What I have sunk my time on: getting comfortable with Lightworks. Learning the basics of video editing is almost becoming a mandatory skill. We have so much footage from Improv… It is a shame no one is doing anything with it! So I am using some of those clips as a playing ground.

This was also inspired by the chapter about editing in Essentialism. I am even thinking of writing about this on one of my future posts! Until then, let’s leave it on “To attain knowledge add things every day. To attain wisdom subtract things every day”. (Lao-tzu)